The stereotype of the masculine man is one that is strong, self-reliant, assertive, self-directive, physically and emotionally self-sufficient. Another stereotype is that a man initiates sex and is always ready to have sex, anywhere at any time. The reality is that this is not always the case for many men. The emotional state of a man can affect their libido. Emotions such as; anxiety, depression, stress, low self-esteem and concerns about sexual performance can all affect a man’s libido. Other areas that may affect a man’s libido are poor body image and communication. It is normal for a man to experience a decrease in their libido from time to time, especially if they are emotionally distressed. For many men this is only a temporary situation and their interest in sex will return after a few weeks or months.

For other men who experience a decrease in their libido, it can be related to medication or to medical conditions. Medications and medical conditions that may affect your libido are high blood pressure, anti-depressants, high cholesterol, low testosterone, baldness medication, antihistamines, anti-psychotics, epilepsy medication, opioid painkillers, recreational drugs and alcohol.

Sex-drives vary a lot from man to man.  And there is no hard and fast rule to how a man may be feeling about engaging in sex. Some men are always keen to engage in sex while others require the right set of conditions. There are many myths that exist regarding what is normal male sexuality. If a partner is too demanding in sex or asks their partner to engage in sexual activities they feel uncomfortable with, this may also reduce a man’s sexual interest. This is particularly true if the man feels threatened or is out of his depth. Familiarity with a partner of many years may impact on sexual interest. Relationship issues in other areas may impact upon a man’s sexual interest. Male menopause may affect a man’s libido. Men start to drop in the production of testosterone from about 30 years of age. By the time they are 50 to 60 years of age they may have dropped 30 to 40 percent of production.

Christopher Swane - Counselling And Psychotherapy for Men - Wellington New Zealand