What is same sex attraction? It has been described as an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and sexual attraction to people of the same sex. Not all same sex attracted people identify as being gay. There are many men who may have sex with another man under certain circumstances. But they may not identify as being gay.

In a recent survey of 8000 students, 97 percent identified as heterosexual while only 3 percent identified as homosexual or bisexual. But at least 15 percent acknowledged some same sex attraction while 9 percent acknowledged both male and female partners. This indicates that there are students experiencing same sex attraction during their life. But many choose not to engage in same sex behaviour, or identify as being gay.

Many men experience same sex attraction during their lives. It may be with a close friend or someone who they have encountered at work or university. If it’s a long term friendship then both men may have become very close emotionally. There are also same sex attracted men who identify as heterosexual but who may have become emotionally and/or physically involved with another man.

During adolescence and early adulthood sexual experimentation is very normal. It is a way to discover and develop identity. Young men may experiment and engage in sexual activities with other men. It may be a one off event or it may occur on several different occasions.

There is also circumstantial same sex attraction. Circumstantial same sex attraction occurs where men are in predominately all male environments. For instance; in the prison system, military or isolated mining communities. Men may form emotional and or sexual relationships with other men to alleviate their loneliness and isolation. Younger men may also form relationships with older men for protection and/or information. Men who experience circumstantial same sex attraction may only engage in male to male relationships when they are in these environments and may otherwise identify as heterosexual.

Christopher Swane - Counselling And Psychotherapy For Men - Wellington New Zealand

18 Mar 2018

Christopher Swane

Infidelity And Its Many Causes

Although statistically, there has been a change in the number of people admitting to having an extramarital affair, there is still no accurate information on how common affairs are.

1 Feb 2018

From Marriage To Infidelity

Although statistically there has been a change in the number of people admitting to having an extramarital affair, there is still no accurate information on how common affairs are.

7 Nov 2017

Creating Intimacy In Interpersonal Relationships

As humans we all have a strong desire to become close to another person. The desire for intimacy can be found not only in romantic relationships, but also in deep friendships.

17 Aug 2017

Desired Traits In A Perfect Mate

When we imagine our ideal mate most of us tend to create a mental check list. The list may include someone with the following attributes; a great sense of humour, career orientated,

29 Jun 2017

Jealousy Within Intimate Relationships

Jealousy is often experienced within intimate relationships due to perceived infidelity by a partner. But what is jealousy? Jealousy has been defined as, the cognitions, emotions, and behaviours that follow a loss or threat to self-esteem and/or existence or quality of a romantic relationship,

14 May 2017

Communication In Intimate Relationships

How we communicate within our intimate relationships can contribute to our overall happiness. It is not only important to listen to one’s partner it is also important to develop speaking skills that increase connection and lower the negative impact of disagreements.

28 Apr 2017

From Jealousy To Envy - Changing As We Age

We have all experienced jealousy at some time in our lives. But what is jealousy? Jealousy has been described as a complex range of emotions that affect both men and women. Jealousy stems from a fear of being abandoned, and may include feelings of rage and humiliation.

14 Mar 2017

Asexuality And Romantic Relationships

There is a general belief that people who identify as asexual do not form romantic relationships. New research indicates that this is not the case. Lori Brotton of the University of British Columbia suggests that there has always been a general assumption that sexual attraction and romantic attraction happen at the same time.

18 Feb 2017

The Origins Of Romantic Love (Part 1)

Although romantic love inundates much of popular media, historically the origins of romantic love can be traced back 3,000 years to Egypt, and the love story between Isis and Osiris.

1 Feb 2017

How Do Men Achieve Healthy Romantic Relationships?

Men appear to have little difficulty getting into intimate relationships, but they often appear ill-equipped to maintain a long term romantic relationship.

26 Jan 2017

The Significance Of Saying “I Love You”

There are many times in the beginning of romantic relationships that are full of trepidation and anxiety.

25 Jan 2017

Employment And The Male Ego

Despite what men would like to believe about themselves or what they may read in popular media, many still derive the majority of their self-esteem from their employment

18 Jan 2017

Does The Internet Add Excitement to Monogamy?

We all know that the internet has changed the way we communicate and how we experience the world, but new research indicates that the internet may also be adding excitement to monogamous relationships.

9 Jan 2017

Giving And Receiving Feedback In Romantic Relationships

How we give and receive feedback in romantic relationships may be an indication of our overall happiness. Research suggests that feelings of love, bliss, emotional connection, and physical attraction lie at the heart of how happy we are as individuals.

20 Dec 2016

Romantic Relationships at Work

Are romantic relationships acceptable at your place of employment? An online survey suggests that about seventy percent of those polled believed that romantic relationships at work are acceptable.

5 Dec 2016

Privacy In Romantic Relationships

Covert intrusive behaviour has been defined as investigating (without the partner’s consent) a partner’s private communications.

23 Nov 2016

Same Sex Attracted Men and Masculinity

How we understand gender, which includes concepts of masculinity, can be understood through two distinctly separate theories. Biological Determinism suggests that we are all born with a fixed gender.

17 Nov 2016

Forgiveness In Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships bring happiness and joy into many peoples’ lives. But unfortunately people are bound to break their partner’s trust and expectations.

1 Nov 2016

Women’s Leisure Behaviour Within Romantic Relationships

Do woman change their leisure behaviour when they become romantically attached?

25 Oct 2016

Compatibility Issues in Same and Opposite Sex Attracted Couples.

Are there any similarities between how same sex attracted couples and opposite sex attracted couples view relationships? Research indicates that same sex attracted couples may have very similar relationship desires and needs as opposite sex attracted couples.

22 Sep 2016

Sexual Myths - Should We All Be Experiencing Mind-Blowing Sex Lives?

During the 1970s and 1980s popular print media highlighted the importance of sexual pleasure and happiness for many in the western world. The emphasis was on liberating both men and women from the sexually oppressive 1950s.

15 Sep 2016

Does Monogamy Really Equal Monotony?

After many years together couples may begin to feel that monogamy is slowly slipping into monotony. The once exciting sex life has disappeared under the weight of a mortgage, work, children, family commitments, and life in general.

16 Nov 2015

Male Sexual Assault - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Male Sexual Assault and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a growing problem.

5 Nov 2015

Happiness - Yoga - Mental Health Part 2

Recent research has explored the effect of yoga on a person’s overall health. A lot of the focus has been on the physical benefits of yoga. This is particularly about the impact yoga may have upon the symptoms associated with osteoarthritis, carpal tunnel syndrome and lower-back pain.

Happiness - Mental Health - Yoga Part 1

Yoga has long been associated with physical health. Traditionally Yoga has been defined as a union between mind, body and spirit. Classically Yoga is understood as the science of the mind.

20 Oct 2015

Men's Health Mind Matters

Although men’s attitudes towards their mental well-being may have changed over the past ten years, ignorance and gender stereotypes still remain.

26 Aug 2015

Does Divorce Affect Other Relationships?

When couples divorce they may experience more than the loss of their primary relationship.

20 Aug 2015

Why Do Men Cheat?

A prevalent belief among social scientists is that extramarital affairs are tolerated more by men than they are by women.

1 Aug 2015

Keeping Men Healthy

Men generally tend to sabotage their chances of good health because they are too shy, too macho, too busy, or too afraid to ask for help. Statistically men visit their GP half as often as women but globally men die younger than women. In contrast men are more sensitive to mild ailments such as flu and tend to over-rate how bad the symptoms are in comparison with women.