Relationship arguments do you enjoy them? Do you look forward to and relish a good argument with your partner? Are you the type that finds something to argue about even when everything is going well in your relationship? People have different argumentative levels and depending where you appear on the scale you may just be the type who enjoys a good argument. Those who appear high on the argumentative scale are more likely to approach, seek out, engage in and produce more arguments than those who are low on the scale.
People who appear high on the argumentative scale are more inclined towards serial arguments rather than singular arguments. And people who appear high on the argumentative scale are more inclined to argue about public-issues rather than personal-issues.
Public-issue arguments are less involved and have less personal consequence than personal-issue arguments. Even if a person enjoys arguing, personal-issue arguments are considered more stressful than public-issue arguments. The research indicates that personal-issue arguments may bring more harm to the relationship than public-issue arguments.
Whether you avoid arguments or enjoy them, serial arguments may lead towards damaging your relationship. This may be especially true when a person who generally avoids argument engages in serial argument to find a quick resolution but fails as the topic arises again and again. People who are argument avoidant and who engage in serial argument may experience a higher level of stress and a reduction in perceived happiness.
Remember not all arguments are bad. It’s the intensity and the repetitiveness of the argument that may lead to a perception of gridlock and hopelessness.
Christopher Swane - Relationship Counselling and Psychotherapy - Wellington New Zealand