We all experience times in our relationships that we regret. This can be especially true when it’s an inappropriate action or statement. These inappropriate actions or statements can often occur when we have had too much to drink. Christmas is a time when people over-indulge and may do, or say, silly things that they may regret lat
But how serious is a little office flirtation? That may all depend on the type of relationship you currently have with your partner.
If you are in an honest relationship where it is possible to discuss office flirtation, then it’s not an issue. It’s normal for people to feel attracted to someone other than their partner. It would be unusual to live your whole married life and only find your partner attractive. Research has shown that couples who are able discuss their attractions and flirtations are less likely to have affairs.
But what happens if you are in a relationship where the smallest indiscretion can lead to weeks of arguments? Then you may choose to hide your flirtations. If you fear your eyes wandering for a moment may provoke your partner to fly off into a jealous rage, then you may become secretive and start to develop a separate life.
You may be feeling that you are walking on eggshells around your partner, and you are not allowed to communicate your feelings or thoughts. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Uncontrolled jealous rages are applicable to both men and women. Jealous rages may indicate that your partner does not feel secure in the relationship or themselves. Open and honest communication may assist your relationship to develop and help your partner feel secure. Anger and jealousy are normal emotions but it’s what you do with them that are important.
Suppressing feelings of anger or jealousy may lead to further complications in your relationship, or may lead to poor physical health or mental health problems.
Christopher Swane - Couples Counselling and Psychotherapy - Wellington New Zealand