Marriage - Financial Infidelity

Marriage - Financial Infidelity

Do you hide clothes or shoes at work, under the bed or in the car? Does your partner rush to the letter box when the bank or credit card statements are due? Do you find large amounts of money disappearing from your joint account without any real explanation? Do you hide money in separate accounts and keep your financial details secret? If you or your partner are exhibiting this type of behaviour you may be experiencing financial infidelity in your relationship. Financial infidelity is very common – if you feel you need assistance contact a relationship counsellor.

Experts suggest that although couples avoid sexual and emotional infidelity, many are experiencing financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is when a couple are not on the same page about their financial situation or spending habits. One member of the relationship may not be completely honest about their financial commitments etc. while their partner may be completely honest.

Most issues around financial infidelity can be solved if couples communicate. But in some cases people avoid talking about money. Money can be a very emotional issue. For some our self-worth and self-esteem can be tied to how much or how little we earn.

The old saying ‘opposite attracts’ is often very true when it comes to finances. Big spenders are often attracted to more conservative spenders. Big spenders may not always be good at handling their financial future and security. While conservative spenders can be so penny pinching that they forget to enjoy their life. Together these opposites may find a way to strike a happy medium.

Spending money may also be away to relieve stress or anxiety while others may spend money to lower anger or frustration. But couples who keep secrets about money may also be dealing with unresolved power issues within their relationship. This can be especially significant when one partner earns a lot more than the other.

If you are in significant financial debt that is being hidden from your partner it can ruin your relationship or your future.

Christopher Swane - Relationship Counselling and Psychotherapy - Wellington New Zealand