Are you bored in your marriage? Increasingly boredom has become one of the main reasons married couples are filing for divorce. A survey in 2010 suggested that one in four women file for divorce because their husband has grown emotionally cold and distant. Considering that over fifty percent of divorces are petitioned by women, the message seems to be loud and clear; infidelity is not the main reason to finish your relationships, it’s an unsatisfying, boring relationship.
Experts suggest that part of the problem is due to modern society. For some couples they are spending more time together compared to our ancestors. This may be either through early retirement or both partners now working from home.
There are many signs for boredom in relationships. Are you taking your partner for granted? Are you more concerned with your own problems than communicating to your partner? Do you sit in front of the TV every night during dinner? Did you stop having date nights? Do you spend more time with friends than your partner? When you are together are you separately connected to the internet either through a mobile phone or tablet?
Those who are at most risk are couples who are approaching retirement. Statics show an increased level of divorce in the over 50s age group.
Here are a few suggestions to escape the relationship doldrums:
- Seek professional help through relationship counselling.
- Make regular date nights. And keep them.
- Find common ground.
- Pursue separate hobbies.
- Make time to communicate to your partner.
- Plan weekends and holidays away together without work.
- Show interest in your partner’s work or hobbies.
Christopher Swane - Relationship Counselling and Psychotherapy - Wellington New Zealand